Episode 014: A Few Thoughts on Grief and Living Happier

Inspired by an article I read, in this podcast, I am talking about handling the everyday little transitions, struggles, and periods of grief we experience. Giving ourselves some grace.

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I struggled with the title for this episode this week because grief has such a bad name and gets such a bad rap. And because grieving is a very painful, challenging topic. We all hate going through grief for a variety of reasons. But today, I wanted to talk about grief because a couple of weeks ago, I read an article, and if you've run into me in the past couple of weeks, you've heard me talk about this article. I've posted on Facebook, I've written about it in my newsletter. It has resonated with me for a variety of reasons. And the article's called Everything Doesn't Happen for a Reason by Tim Lawrence. (Since recording this episode, Tim's website is no longer available, so the link has been removed)

I love this article because the author does such a great job of talking about grief and how our tendency in society and Western culture is to ignore grief. And one of the big things I'm discovering as I work with clients and as I navigate my journey in living happier, and I've talked about this for years, that live happier is a combination of all the positives and the negatives.

When people hear the phrase, Oh, live happier, they assume it's only sunshine and light and perfectly wonderful things. And that is not what I'm talking about. The purpose of living happier is a daily, intentional living structure. And so that means that every day we make decisions based on our highest priorities and our deepest values.

And we live authentically in trying to make those priorities fit. So when we're living happier, we're experiencing all there is to life. We experience the grief, we experience the sadness, and we experience the gray days where we don't want to get up off the couch. And we also experience the days of joy and happiness and laughter, and those days can be all in one big, giant day.

They don't have to be two separate major things of, Oh my God. Today is a day of grief or, Oh my God, today is a beautiful, lighthearted day. Those 2 things can happen within the hour. Last Sunday, for example, I was crying my eyes out one second. And the next second, I was rolling on the floor laughing. So that is living happier in a nutshell.

But the reason I love this article because he talks about how in our culture, we tend to belittle other people's grief, and we tend to belittle our own grief actually. And that's the piece I wanted to talk about more: how we handle other people's grief is how we handle our own.

So yeah. The critical thing about grief is that we grieve things all the time. We grieve age, the loss of a parent, or the loss of a loved one. When we think about grief, we usually think about death, but I would argue that grief comes when we move or lose a job or when our kids go off to college, our kids start school for the first time, or we lose a pet.

With any change or transition, there's some level of grief that occurs with that. And so we need to be giving ourselves and each other a lot more room around it. So the Tim Lawrence argument is that many of us have these little platitudes that we say to make ourselves feel better. And one of those platitudes is everything happens for a reason. So we comfort ourselves when something tragic happens by saying everything happens for a reason, and hopefully, something positive will come out of this. And we just move on. And I would argue that, as human beings, we aren't meant just to move on. We aren't meant to suck it up, soldier on, keep going. We are meant to stop and pause and have a moment of grief. And when my clients come to me, and they're usually pretty high functioning, they have their jobs and their families and are doing okay in life, but they're exhausted and stressed out, and their priorities are all jumbled around.

And usually, it's because there've been a few grief incidents that have happened. Job changes, loss, death, transition that they haven't processed all the way through. And so, giving ourselves that space to process things all the way through is critical. That can happen with a friend that can happen with a therapist; it needs to happen. We need to give ourselves more room to feel the pain, feel the sadness, and stop trying to justify what's going on. And so I see it a lot with myself; I will litany off everything that's going wrong.

I wake up, and I feel sad, and instead of just letting myself feel the sadness, I'll justify why that sadness is. Okay. So I'll go through a litany of this happened, and this happened, and this happened. And then I might let myself feel that sadness for maybe a second. I rush through onto the next thing, saying to myself, suck it up, soldier on, at least you're not as bad as that person.

I think it's a big reason why I hate the phrase "think positive" because I have a powerful, visceral reaction to thinking positive because I think it pulls us out of grief, and a lot of my clients, don't need to think any more positive than they already do.

They're not walking around thinking negatively. They might be walking around feeling negative but not allowing themselves to think it all the way through. The problem isn't that we're a bunch of negative, bitter, and miserable people. The problem is we don't give ourselves room to feel what it is we're feeling at the time.

So we are so inundated with think happier and be grateful and suck it up and move on soldier on. Your attitude is all that matters. And when we do that, we're bristling against what's going on. And our bodies are saying, this is hard right now. This transition is tough. If you're getting ready to send your kid off to college in the next year, or you're looking at a job transition, or even if you're, struggling in your marriage, that stuff's hard stuff, it is full-body contact stuff.

And it requires being present and noticing what's going on and a big exhale of, Oh babe, this is tough right now. And we need to be giving that to ourselves. We need to be giving ourselves that big exhale and allowing ourselves some room around this stuff is hard. Instead of suck it up, soldier on name, the things you're grateful for name, be positive.

All of those mantras, everything happens for a reason. They keep us out of our bodies, and they keep us out of being present to ourselves. My reminder is to be kind to yourself and whatever it is you're going through. Whatever it is you're dealing with right now.

It's okay. It's okay. To feel scared and lost and confused. It's okay not to know what to do next. It's okay to admit that it's okay to go to a work friend and say, I have no freaking clue, and this is happening. I'm overwhelmed. So give yourself that big exhale because that's living happier it is just admitting, Hey dude, this is hard. I'm struggling.

And I'm admitting it right along with you. I appreciate Tim Lawrence for writing that article it inspired a lot of thought for me and my clients and everyone I've talked to about it. So I want to end this segment part with a quote. That was one of my favorites from Pema Chodron,

"We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem. But the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together, and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again; it's just like that the healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen."

Room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. To me, that is living happier, doing all of that, making room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. And I hope you will allow yourself some room around whatever it is. You're feeling grief around today this week, this month, or this year. Allow yourself some time to fall and some time to come back together again

+ Weekly Ritual Challenge

One thing that has really helped me reduce anxiety is adding regular ritual practices to my daily life, so each week, I am going to be sharing a ritual with you and challenge you to complete it.

This week's ritual: The Five Senses Meditation.

Now, as you probably know, if you know anything about me, I struggle with meditation, but this is a meditation that I actually enjoy doing. It takes just 30 seconds, and you don't even have to close your eyes. Just pause for 30 seconds and get in touch with your senses.

What do you hear? What do you feel? What do you smell? What do you see? And what do you taste? Take 60 seconds and just go through those five questions and I guarantee you, it will, I'll help you live happier.

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Episode 013: Self Help Run Amuck

When the quest to be happier leaves us feeling stuck, exhausted, and unworthy.

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Today I want to talk about self-help. It's an amazingly wonderful industry. The idea that we can learn, grow, and feel better about our lives and become happier through reading a book or listening to a lecture, or even listening to a podcast is wonderful.

However, I know for myself and people who enjoy exploring the self-help world; sometimes, we are stuck in unhealthy patterns and beliefs, just for being a better human being. Every now, and then I'll run into a person and acquaintance a client, even myself, from time to time, and I'll think, yup.

There goes a case of self-help run amok. For me, the phrase self-help run amok is defined as someone who means, well, they have good intentions, but they've grabbed onto one or two self-help concepts and twisted them to mean they aren't good enough. So they twisted these concepts to mean that there's a right way and a wrong way.

And if only they could figure out the right way, all would be well, here's the thing. There is no right way. There are countless ways to do it. What may be the right way for you isn't the right way for someone else. Frequently, if we are looking for the right way, it is a sign of fear paralysis. We don't want to move until we know the right moves, which usually leaves us stuck.

So here are some of my favorite self-help run amuck phrases.

If I think happy, I will be happy.

The concept is being intentional, run amuck. We have been told that we need to pay attention to our thoughts. If we intend it, then it will come. So think positively, and you will feel better.

I agree. There are times we let ourselves become stuck in negative thoughts and negative patterns, and we do need to change those thoughts into more positive thinking. And there are times that we have real pain that we need to deal with. Yes, while I believe when we think happier, we are happier. I also believe we have to put a little work into being happy. The idea that if I think about a hundred dollars, it will suddenly appear in my mailbox is improbable. So too is the thought that if I just think happy. I'll be happy. The concept of happiness isn't a constant thing. It's not like once I figure out happiness, I'll always be happy.

So there isn't anything we can do to be happy consistently. Living happier means that I deal with everything. I deal with the pain. I deal with the joy, and I don't get stuck in one place or the other. So if I'm feeling scared, I allow myself to feel scared. If I'm feeling joy, I allow myself to feel joy. The concept of I can only entertain positive thoughts, or I can only think happy thoughts keep us stuck in false bravado, thinking it does not make us happier.

It makes us miserable because we're missing a whole different section of our life, which is the pain and suffering of being human. And that's okay. Because from that pain comes happiness. It's when we experience all of it, the joy and the pain, that we really can experience living happier. So the concept of, if I think happy, I will be happy is self-help run amuck.

It keeps us stuck in pain and misery that we're not enough because even though we're trying so hard, we're still not happy. So rather than telling yourself, I just need to think positive. Tell yourself I need to give myself a little compassion for whatever it is I'm feeling right now. You need to check-in and say, what am I feeling?

Am I happy? Am I sad? And then be like, yeah, that's what I'm feeling. And that's okay. When we stop forcing ourselves to feel a certain way, that's when we experience living happier. And next on the list.

I need to accept people right where they are.

Yes. I fully believe that we need to accept people where they are. One of my favorite life mottoes is they're doing the best they can with what they have. And that doesn't mean I need to put up with abusive, negative, or hurtful behavior. Accepting someone for who they are and what they're coping with, and the pain they're in doesn't mean I have to take that pain on or be hurt by their pain. Accepting someone for where they are also include:

*Knowing their boundaries.

*Knowing that I need to set boundaries.

*Knowing I need to say no.

I don't need to put up with someone else's journey hurting me. I do need to love people wherever they are, but they don't need to hurt me in the process.

I need to be genuine and honest with everyone. I want to add the words with wisdom to the sentence. So it would say I need to be genuine and honest with everyone using wisdom.

Yes. I believe we need to be grounded and authentic in our lives, but not everyone in this world is safe. Therefore, we need to have a little wisdom with which we share our authentic selves. We can still be genuine and authentic without bearing our souls. We can still own our space.

Bottom line. The goal of self-help is to feel less anxious, be in pain less frequently, and learn how to interact in the world from a place of grounded authenticity. The goal is to live happier. The goal is not to beat ourselves up, open ourselves up to unnecessary pain and feel like we're doing it wrong.

Wake up each morning and be the best you possible. Bring awareness to your pain. Notice your mistakes and move forward. Making amends is necessary. Self-help is a wonderful space to start learning about ourselves. But real growth begins when we can enter the world and interact with loving-kindness with ourselves and those around us.

Knowing when we struggle with that task, we can have curiosity around why and attempt to learn better for the future. So freaking give yourself a break. You're doing the best you can with what you have. And that is a wonderful thing.

+ Weekly Ritual Challenge

One thing that has really helped me reduce anxiety is adding regular ritual practices to my daily life, so each week, I am going to be sharing a ritual with you and challenge you to complete it.

This week's ritual: Make Space to ask Yourself, What Do I Need Next? This is a great practice to cut down on the draw of the constant, to-do list mentality. The go, go, go. So when we can pause and ask ourselves, what do I need next?

So set a random alarm on your phone, or write a sticky note that sits on your computer. But throughout the day, make space to ask yourself what is it that I need next?

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Episode 012: How to Stop Taking out Your Frustration on Those Closest to you

One of the top reasons my clients come to see me is they want to stop feeling so much frustration and resentment, and most importantly they want to stop taking it out on those they love. In this episode, we discuss tips for taking care of that frustration in other ways.

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It's been a crazy week. My website got hacked earlier, and I was on vacation, and it just was a super crazy time. So it is Saturday afternoon, and I'm just now getting around to my usual Wednesday podcast. So I apologize for the delay. Today I want to talk about easing your frustration or how to stop taking out your frustration on those closest to you.

Last week, I talked about resentment and dealing with hidden resentments and setting boundaries and all that great stuff, which is an awesome podcast. And I hope you can check it out. That's episode 11 and this week. I wanted to talk about, more specifically, how to stop taking out your frustration on those closest to you.

One of the top reasons clients come to see me because they are tired of being angry and frustrated and taking it out on their spouses and kids. And so that is the kind of call to action for them to be like, okay, I need to make some changes because I'm super frustrated and, I don't want to be living a life that, that is this frustrated.

The thing that is fascinating to me is when you meet these women, the last thing you would think is that they're dealing with frustration or anger issues.

Because they are super gentle and sensitive and sweet and kind women, they're super high functioning, and they do a lot of great stuff for their families. And therein lies the rub that, as we talked about last week, they're doing so much for other people that they aren't getting enough healthy boundaries, and they're not taking care of themselves.

They end up taking out that excess frustration on those closest to them. My first bit of wisdom is to go back and listen to episode number 11 to stop this frustration. And then I want to take this conversation a little bit further because it is about boundaries, and it's also about taking care of yourself.

This will not be another episode on self-care, but this will be an episode about paying attention to what you want and what you need. And I've talked about before in previous episodes about dealing with values and setting priorities. Not only is it hard to set a boundary, but sometimes it's hard to figure out where do I need to set a boundary because we get so wrapped up in our to-do lists and the right way of doing things and what we need to do next.

And, we have all these messages that we need to be in charge, and we need to be helping, and we need to be doing, and we don't ever stop and look back and take it, do a check-in with ourselves. And then what happens is by the end of the day, we are so freaking exhausted of doing for everyone else that we tend to take out the frustration on the person that, you know, a, we know who can handle it, but B who deserves it the least.

And so we take out our frustrations on our kids or our partners or those people in our life. We know we can trust, and that's just as unfair. And so this podcast is about paying attention to you. Helping ourselves catch ourselves before we get to that point before we get to the point of, I am so frustrated right now that the next person that walks in the door, I'm just going to unload on them.

And so one of the ways I think to help us get to that point, that has been life-changing for me (and I had a great reminder of it this week in my therapy) was asking myself the question, what do you need next? And that phrase, what do you need next has been a powerful one for me because I don't ask myself that question very often.

You can do the higher, what do I need and what are my values and what's my higher priority here, but at the moment when I'm running from thing to thing, and I have to get to a client meeting, and then after that, I need to run the grocery store. And then after that, I have to make dinner and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, check check.

I don't ask myself, what do I need to do next? Do I need to stop and take a drink of water? Do I need to pay attention to my shoulders here and do 3 deep breaths? Do I need to crank up my music and have a little dance party for 30 seconds? What is it that at this moment I need? And even to put the sticky note (I am a big fan of stickies), what do I need next?

Put the sticky on your computer on your car dashboard to remind you what is it that I need to do next to take care of myself. We get so caught up in what's the right way? How can I get there faster? How can I do this better? I even caught myself earlier this week, I have downloaded the app Waze on my phone, and I absolutely love it.

It is a GPS app that tells you which way to go. And it's usually always accurate, and I will constantly check my route to make sure I'm taking the right way. And sometimes, what I need to do next is get stuck in traffic.

Just sit there and traffic and take some deep breaths. Listen to the music and relax a little bit instead of being this crazy person who's constantly looking for the fastest way to get there. That just isn't always the best way to do it. Paying attention to and asking your question yourself, the question. What do I need to do next? And then having a lot of compassion around whatever that answer is. For many of us, we follow the rules, whether they're actual rules or made-up rules such as, we have to get there the fastest way possible, which is one of my made-up rules. We follow those rules all day long.

And we never really give ourselves the chance to bust out of the rules. We never give ourselves the chance to do something for just ourselves. It's always an obligation or a should, or this is the next thing on the list. And we're running at this pace of whatever we need to be doing next. Instead of asking ourselves, what do I need right now?

Yes, I need to go pick up the kids. And that is the next thing on my list. But I have a minute here that I can figure out what I need to do. And I have a minute where I can give myself a lot of compassion for the fact that I'm feeling frustrated right now. Or that I'm feeling pulled in a thousand different directions, or I'm feeling frustrated at my husband because he isn't stepping up the way I need him to today. Or I can feel compassion for myself that it's okay that I'm angry at my boss.

The first thing is, asking yourself the question, what is it I need next? And then the second thing, as far as this easing your frustrations, is figuring out how many times you say to yourself, I'm furious at my boss, but he's a nice guy, and I know he wants the best for me.

My husband makes me mad. He doesn't even think to empty the dishwasher, and that drives me crazy, but he's a great husband, and he's a good father and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I see it all the time in my office. I do it all the time. We don't give ourselves the freedom to say the complete emotion to say the complete thought to give the whole frustration of voice.

Instead, we stop ourselves. So we censor our frustration, and we censor the emotion around it. And we tell ourselves, Oh, I can't say that because that means I'm a terrible person. Or I can't say that because they'll think I'm evil, or I can't say that for whatever reason. If we say a frustration, that means we're not grateful or whatever.

We have these rules in our heads that we can't hold a frustration all the way through. We have to censor it. And so I want you to be paying attention to how often you do that. How often are you venting to a friend or even saying to yourself, gosh, I just wished my husband would empty the dishwasher once in a while, and then just let yourself be frustrated with that and be like, okay, I'm frustrated. He doesn't empty the dishwasher.

Now, what can I do to make sure that happens better or differently, or easier? How can I bring that up to him? Instead of spinning out on: I hate when my husband doesn't empty the dishwasher, and I should be grateful for him because he does such a great job with the kids. Stop censoring yourself when it comes to your frustrations.

When we censor them, they get pushed further and further down, and then they blow up at the end of the day. So all of a sudden, your husband comes home, and he doesn't know you're frustrated with him about the dishwasher. The dishwasher frustration is like a two on your scale of frustrations, but that's the one that comes out in version 10.

It just comes blowing out of you because you have pushed down all these frustrations all day long, and they come busting at the seams. So that concept of letting yourself vent the frustration, giving yourself compassion around the fact that frustration is there. And then the critical piece, figuring out how to do it differently.

So that frustration doesn't take over your life, figure out how to let the frustration go, how to confront the person about the frustration, or what you can do next to make that frustration less prominent in your life. So I'm not advocating, just complaining to be complaining.

My two tips for easing frustration and how to stop taking the frustration out on those closest to you:

One as you go throughout your day, ask yourself. What do I need next? And actively start making mental notes of what you need, and then stop censoring yourself. So allow yourself to fully vent whatever frustrations you're feeling, whether you're inventing them to someone else or you're venting them to yourself, permit yourself to vent fully.

Then give yourself some compassion figure out what you're going to do with that frustration to make it better. Those are my tips.

When you have figured out all the needs, and you're keeping track of "what do I need to do next?" you might recognize that there are some boundaries you need to be setting.

Okay. These needs can only be met if I start saying no, or these needs can only be met if I start setting some boundaries. When that happens, go back and listen to episode 11 to learn how do I set boundaries in a healthy way? So that is it. I hope that helps.

+ Weekly Ritual Challenge

One thing that has really helped me reduce anxiety is adding regular ritual practices to my daily life, so each week, I am going to be sharing a ritual with you and challenge you to complete it.

This week's ritual: Take a Break and Be Silly.

This challenge is a great one to take a dance break with your kids, belly, laugh with your partner. There are lots of ways to be silly. And the best news by nature of being silly, you just can't do it wrong. So if you're someone that's trapped like I am in doing it right, there is no right in silly. It's just pure silliness.

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Episode 004: Feeling your Feelings: The Street Fight

Sometimes the idea of feeling our feelings is a full-on street fight. Learn my love-hate relationship with this phrase and how doing it has changed my life.

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A common activity is chasing the next chance of happiness. I do it all the time; I am having a bad day, so I think what fun thing can I make for dinner or what cool thing can we watch on TV. Before I was trying to save money, the idea would be what new dress can I buy or when can I get a new haircut?

These days I notice this looking for a future happiness reward as a sign that I need to stop, get quiet and see what is really going on. It is a sign that I am not paying attention to myself right now, and I need to be curious about why I need a reward.

This is where the concept of feel your feelings comes into play. If we don’t feel our feelings, we end up stuffing them down and looking for new, exciting ways to make ourselves feel better, which, if we are honest with ourselves, doesn’t really work. So the idea of

However, the glitch comes when we start to feel our feelings, and we don’t know what to do with ourselves. What do we do with this sadness or anger? What is really going on here? And so we start down the path of “I Shouldn’t be feeling like this; I SHOULD be happier.”

A great example: Last night I come home from visiting my parents and my dad is not in the greatest of health, so sometimes when I get home on Sunday evenings I am a little sad. Last night I was exceptionally sad. I was feeling A LOT, but rather than allow myself to feel all that; I kept saying, what is your problem…you SHOULD be fine. Nothing sad happened at the visit, Dad was having a great day, and it was a lot of fun because I couldn’t justify my feelings then they weren’t valid.

Here’s the thing feelings aren’t always logical, convenient, or fun. Feelings can get triggered by God knows what. I use to drown these feelings in food, wine, or losing myself in a game on my Ipad—hello Candy Crush. But now I know that when I feel like this, I need to sit with it. Sit with the feelings and pour on compassion and empathy. No rationalizing, no justifying. The MINUTE I say to myself, “oh sweetheart, it is ok to struggle; it is ok to feel however you want to feel” Is the minute I feel better. My feelings always don’t need some big grandiose form of expression; they just need to be heard. I always check in with myself, asking what do you need around this (and I confess my usual response is I need chocolate or I need a glass of wine, so I did a little deeper) as in do you need to talk to someone, vent some anger, cry some tears, write, etc. and that allows me to express myself in healthy ways.

As Brené Brown says, feeling worthy is a daily practice; it is a street fight every single day. I would say for many of us; it is a street fight every single day to trust our feelings and, therefore ourselves. The saying just ‘feel your feelings’ is so easy to say. But the act of trusting that if you allow the sadness or the anger to come forward, it won’t eat you alive.

It wasn’t until I learned to trust myself and that I would be ok no matter what happened with my feelings that I could start to experience the peace and contentment that comes from being a whole human being. I could stop chasing happiness with the next reward and just be with my emotions. Some days this act is a street fight with myself, and some days it is as simple as just showing up.

One of my favorite stories about trusting yourself is the story of the snake. Let’s say as a child you are playing in the living room, and you see a snake right there in the middle of the living room. You run to tell your mom, and Mom #1 says, what snake? There is no snake in the living room. You are crazy. And you return to the living room to play and repeatedly tell yourself there is no snake until eventually, you don’t see the snake anymore, and then the snake bites you. Mom #2 says, oh my honey, let’s go look at the snake and get rid of it, and the 2 of you calmly go to take care of the snake so you can keep playing in the living room.

This story of the snake illustrates how we learn not to trust our feelings and ourselves. We are told that certain feelings are bad or that we shouldn’t feel a certain way, and so we eventually cut ourselves off from those feelings. Like the snake, there are still there; we just aren’t aware of them until they come from out of nowhere to bite us in the butt.

+ Weekly Ritual Challenge:

One thing that has really helped me Live Happier is adding regular ritual practices to my daily life, so each week, I am going to be sharing a ritual with you and challenging you to complete it Stop Light: 3 Deep Breaths You might need a sticky note to remind you of this one.

As you are driving, when you come to a stoplight or traffic jam, simply take three deep belly breaths. I have gotten out of the practice of this one, so excited to add it back in.

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Episode 002: What Does it Mean to Live Happier?

After last week's episode, I had a couple of emails asking about my definition of Living Happier. So, I thought I would go back a little bit and share my definitions of Living Happier as well as some of the myths around living happier.

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One of the reasons I love the phrase “Live Happier” is because it is something you can do every day. It is not a destination as in, “one day I will Live Happier.”

Nope, Living Happier is something you can do in the midst of life’s trials and tribulations or when life is cruising along with ease.

Living Happier isn’t something you achieve; it is something you are engaging in all the time.

Does that mean you have to be always striving? No, but it does mean you have to be engaged and intentional about your life.

It is something you are doing every day of your life to make your life richer, fuller, and brighter.

Living Happier is:

Being intentional about your life. Knowing what activities give you energy and what activities drain your energy. Throughout the day, making sure you are ‘budgeting your energy, so you don’t get too drained.”

Having awareness about yourself, what are your strengths, what are your values, what do you want your life to look like? And creating a life that feeds those strengths, values, and dreams.

Knowing life is full of ups and downs. Tragedies happen, losses occur, and it is even more important to be engaging in #1 and #2 above during these times.

Living Happier requires full engagement. Having the tough conversation with your partner.

Confronting the co-worker who keeps stealing your ideas.

Asking for the raise you deserve after 3 years of nothing.

Because too many of us are walking around like zombies in our lives and then wondering why we aren’t Living Happier, we have to ENGAGE.

COMPASSION: The recognition that some days we will be firing on all cylinders and some days we won’t and loving ourselves the same, regardless of the kind of day we are having.

Asking for help when we need it. Recognizing that we can’t do it alone.

We need to reach out from time to time for assistance, clear tasks off our plate, or just ask for much-needed support.

Approaching the world from an attitude of openness, kindness, and love for ourselves and for those around us.

Living Happier DOES NOT MEAN you are blissed out all the time. In fact, living happier means allowing yourself to have a bad day. To give yourself grace around pain, sadness, and grief.

Living Happier means you can give yourself the radical acceptance necessary to move through the inevitable emotions that come up as you move through the peaks and valleys of life.

Living happier means showing up to life and reminding yourself it is A practice and a process. A daily practice of showing up and living intentionally and as well as a reminder that life is a wonderfully, imperfect messy, engaging process.

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