Episode 031: Coming Alive
Coming Alive...or more importantly, what is keeping you from Coming Alive. Thoughts on one of my favorite quotes: “Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman
+ Read the Transcript
Today I want to talk about a particular quote by Howard Thurman: Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself. What makes you come alive and do that because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
I love the inspiration of that. I just couldn't agree with that more. What the world needs is people who have come alive. Sometimes, when I've shared this quote in the past, people have said, oh, that's selfish. Like we shouldn't be thinking about ourselves. We should be giving the world what it needs, and we should be out there serving.
He's not saying don't serve the world. He's saying, ask what makes you come alive and then serve the world from that place. If we were all acting out of what makes us come alive, oh my gosh, the world would be such a grander, better place.
I've talked in the past about how I notice it when I'm feeling annoyed or resentful or just angry at the world.
Often, it stems from the fact that I am not doing what makes me come alive. I am stuck in some pattern of doing for others and giving what I think others want and way gone off the rails on serving other people. And when I can pause and stop and say, okay, what is it that makes me come alive and do that.
I become a happier, better, more generous person. So this week, I want you to be thinking about what makes you come alive. And this quote is used a lot when it comes to career, but I want us to step back from that, not just career. If you want to think about it in terms of career, that is awesome. But more so in your everyday life, what makes you come alive and do more of that to bust out of the everyday mundane.
Suppose you're dreaming of going to travel and do something wonderful across the country. Figure out a way to do that here, figure out a way to engage in something unique here. I love traveling and going to different places, seeing the national parks, and getting outdoors.
And so that made me realize, okay, rather than just waiting to go outdoors in a national park, Go outside here in your hometown and explore different parks and see different areas. So I think that's beneficial when we can start asking ourselves what makes us come alive and then pay attention to what that feels like when we're alive when everything's clicking, when you're in the zone, and you're feeling really good, that's when we're at our best, that's when we're living our best life.
And that's when our inner critic comes out. So the dark underbelly that's the part that no one talks about when it comes to these quotes is that piece where we don't give ourselves the permission to be alive. We are constantly saying you don't deserve that. Who do you think you are to do what makes you come alive? You should be blah, blah, blah. Fill in the blank. We don't give ourselves permission. To come alive because our inner critic takes over the minute we start coming alive and coming into our own. Because we also start becoming more vulnerable. And when we're more vulnerable, our inner critic freaks out because it wants us to keep us safe and protected.
So this aspect of coming alive has this dark underbelly that we don't think about as much. And so, we don't actively have a way of dealing with that. We're like, yeah. I want to come alive. I'm going to do something great. I'm going to go today. I'm going to go to a funky coffee shop, and I'm going to sit there, and I'm going to enjoy it.
I'm going to not having a regular schedule and doing something different. And the whole time we're there, unconsciously is playing our inner critic saying, who do you think you are to take the morning off and come to this coffee shop? You don't fit in here. This isn't where you should be. You are such a fake person. Oh my gosh. I can't believe you're sitting here doing this. Just hammering away.
And so we don't come alive. We walk out of the coffee shop feeling like idiots. And so, that aspect of what makes you come alive is still there. It just got beaten down by your inner critic. So as you spend the next week thinking about what is it that makes me come alive.
Also, have some curiosity and pay real attention to that inner critic playing there and bring it to the light. Bring that inner critic out into the open and say, baby, I got this. I don't need you to be belittling me or making fun of me. This is what I want to be doing. I want to be coming alive, and I will be okay.
We'll be okay. So lovingly remind that inner critic that you got this. Also, just pay attention that the downside of coming alive is your inner critics going to get chattier. And that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. That just means you have to be extra vigilant in how you deal with that inner critic.
And a lot of times, what happens is we decide we're going to do something we're going to bust out. We're going to do something unique. We go to do that. Boom, incomes the inner critic to tell us how much we suck, and we don't pay attention to that inner critic playing there; we let it win, so to speak.
And then our next response is to be resentful or angry or go, kick our dog or yell at our spouse, or be resentful that here we try to do something new. It didn't work out. And so, it is just a self-affirming prophecy that we're just meant to be losers. And what happened there was the inner critic. That was the piece that we missed. That piece of self-compassion of, okay, I'm trying something new, I'm doing something different. I'm going to bust out of my zone. All that means is the inner critic is going to be going crazy. I need to be on high alert for that and be extra loving to that inner critic.
So that's the point of today's podcast to remind you of the power of that inner critic, that when we try to do something and bust out and when we're on the right path, and we're getting closer to that wise voice and getting closer to what comes makes us come alive. That's when her inner critic gets the chattiest, and that's when we need to step up and lovingly remind it. We got this. It'll be okay.
+ Weekly Ritual Challenge
One thing that has really helped me reduce anxiety is adding regular ritual practices to my daily life, so each week, I am going to be sharing a ritual with you and challenge you to complete it.
This week's ritual: Take a Different Route: Dare to Get Lost
Shaking things up get's us out of our ruts and allows us to see life differently. Where can you shake things up in your life? One of the ways to shake things up is to take a different route to school, to work, to home. Dare to get lost, turn off the navigation system and go exploring :)