Stopping Overwhelm
Busy, Busy, Busy. We are all extremely busy. The feeling of overwhelm seems to be something a lot of people I know are dealing with. Keeping schedules straight, remembering all the little things, and having a life seems to cause a significant energy drain. I wanted to write a few tips I have (and some I need to pay attention to myself) on dealing with overwhelm.
Do an energy inventory.
How much of your time are you spending doing activities that drain you? How much of your time are you spending doing activities you think you should do?
Sometimes we are overwhelmed by positive events, e.g. starting a new job, having a baby, moving, remodeling, etc. Change can be a major energy add and a major energy drain. Even if your life is packed with positive changes, they can be draining. So make sure you take time to add in activities that purely fill you up. Take a night to read a good book, go out with friends, veg on the couch, plan a dance party, take a walk around the block, do yoga. Whatever small activities you can add to the day to re-fill your energy is helpful.
Beware of the Shoulds.
One of the biggest energy drains I know is the activities we think we SHOULD be doing or we HAVE to do them because so and so said it. For perfectionists and people pleasers, this behavior is common because we want to make others happy and don't always think that there might be another way. When you find one of these activities, ask yourself, "What would happen if I didn't do this activity?" or "Can I brainstorm a way around this activity?" Frequently the story that we have built up in our head of the sky falling or being a terrible person isn't true.
Be honest.
You can't do it all. So figure out what you need and ask for it. Too often, we are so busy running from one thing to another don't take the time to pause and figure out where we could be getting some help. Take the time to reflect and pause and see where you could say no and where you could be asking for something to make life easier.
Take Control.
Only you can manage your energy flow. Other people aren't going to do it for you (such a bummer, I know). You need to take active control in managing your energy, e.g., saying no, speaking up, setting boundaries, and filling your time with activities that add energy.