Embracing the Do-Over

Remember when you were a child, and you were playing a game, something went wrong (you whiffed the ball, missed the goal, or completely tanked the basket), and someone would scream "do-over," which simply meant try again. No harm, no foul--you get a free pass to try it all again. It is one of my favorite things to cry out whenever we play darts (which I LOVE playing and am terrible at). Frequently I will completely miss the board, and the dart will fall to the ground, and I say "do-over."

As adults, we don't grant ourselves a lot of do-vers. However, do-overs are a necessity in the practice of Living Happier. Anytime we are learning something new, practicing something different, or improving ourselves, we need room to make mistakes and correct them--thus the do-over. Some great examples of do-overs are:

You realize mid-sentence that the words coming out of your mouth are not phrased the way you want them to be, and the conversation is not going well, and you pause and ask, "Can we start over?".

In the middle of an argument, you realize this has taken a very bad turn; you can simply pause and say, "Let's pause and re-group here."

You end a conversation with a friend and worry that there might have been a misunderstanding, so you simply call them and say, "Can we do that conversation over?"

After walking away from a business meeting, you realize you might have joked at the wrong moment at a co-worker's expense, so you go to their office and say, "I want to apologize for making a bad joke."

Embracing the Do-Over not only allows us to decrease hurt feelings, but it allows us to practice being genuine, authentic human beings who don't always get it right the first time. Too often, we are too embarrassed to admit the need for a do-over. Our ego takes over and digs in, and we become too focused on being right, not wanting to admit we messed up, etc.

Do-overs allow us to practice the art of:

• Setting Boundaries (if it doesn't go well--you can always ask for a do-over)

• Conflict Management (if it heads down the wrong path--you can always ask for a do-over)

• Offering Empathy and Listening without Unsolicited Advice (if it heads down the wrong path--you can always ask for a do-over)

The Do-Over allows for the mistakes and inconsistencies that come with being flawed, beautiful human beings.

I guarantee, embracing the do-over will change your life.