Healthy Ways To Deal With Your Emotions: The Why And How
Whether we like it or not, emotions influence our perceptions and day-to-day decisions. Sometimes they can make us feel like we’re on top of the world and sometimes our emotions can be overwhelming. When we don’t allow our emotions they can cause our anxiety to increase and can make us feel out of control.
Not dealing with emotions can lead to turmoil, exhaustion, burnout, or worse. This is especially true for people that struggle with high functioning anxiety (HFA), who try to overcompensate for their emotions by overworking themselves. To stop emotions from getting in the way, you have to recognize and learn to deal with them in a healthy way that works for you.
Trying to deal with uncomfortable emotions can be nerve wracking, especially if you don’t know where to start. Trust me, I get it. But don’t let those nerves stop you from getting the help you need. By recognizing and dealing with our emotions, we can learn how to control them without letting them control us.
Recognizing Your Emotions Is The First Step
If you haven’t already read my blog about recognizing your emotions, it might give you some great insight about emotional recognition and why it’s important to do so in order to properly deal with emotions in a healthy and helpful way.
People with HFA like to think they can shut off their emotions when they need to. I’ve tried to do this myself many times. Much to my disappointment, your emotions won’t go away by you ignoring them. They always find a way to be expressed, usually it is through creating, what I call, smoke screens. These smoke screens are inappropriate ways our emotions get expressed, such as yelling at your spouse when you are frustrated with your boss. Or being overly anxious about a project at work when you are really worried about your Mom’s recent cancer diagnosis.
If you are dealing with HFA, you’ve probably struggled with this inner battle, too, and maybe these same cycles of suppressing and exploding emotions. Luckily, there are better and healthier ways to deal with our emotions than pretending like they don’t exist.
The first step is to recognize your emotions and why they’re happening. Ask yourself:
1. What emotions are you feeling?
2. Did anything happen to trigger these emotions?
3. What did you do as a result?
Don’t be afraid to feel and reflect on the emotions that arise when you ask yourself these questions. Dealing with our feelings isn’t easy, but in order to handle your emotions, you need to be able to recognize them when they arise.
How To Deal With Your Emotions
After acknowledging your emotions, the next step is to learn how to deal and live with them so they don’t continue to dismantle your life. Here are some suggestions I often recommend to my own clients who are learning how to deal with their emotions.
1. Accept your emotions for what they are
Ignoring our feelings can make them pent up and explode over time which is why it’s so important to accept your emotions - all of your emotions - when they arise. Instead of pushing your feelings away, remind yourself that it’s okay to feel. The emotion itself is harmless; it is our action in response to the emotion that can cause harm. Accepting our emotions for what they are will allow us to get more comfortable with them, so that over time we’ll know how to deal with them.
2. Take some time to reflect
I always encourage clients to give themselves time to calm down and reflect. As overthinkers and high functioners, we often run off our initial impulse to push our emotions away because we’re either afraid to feel them or we’re scared they’ll get in the way of our productivity. Give yourself some time to process your emotions when they arise, so that later, you can analyze them with a clear mind and see them for what they really are.
3. Try meditations and mindfulness hacks
Meditating doesn’t always mean sitting on the floor attempting downward dog. Sometimes meditating is simply taking a deep breath and doing a full body movement. Moving our body helps get us out of our heads where we spend way too much time judging ourselves for the emotions we feel. Even simple meditations like taking three deep breaths allows us to get back to the present moment and reconnect with our minds and bodies.
Learn How To Deal With Your Emotions With An Anxiety Coach
Along with accepting your emotions, taking some time to reflect, and trying some simple meditations, working with an anxiety coach is another great way to learn how to deal with your emotions.
As an anxiety coach, I believe there isn’t one guaranteed way to deal with emotions because everyone is different. What works for me might not work for you. That’s why I’m committed to listening to problems, offering solutions, and working alongside you to create a plan that works for you.
I offer one-on-one coaching services for those that want a listening ear and helpful hand. I also have a self-guided course that goes over recognizing and dealing with emotions for those that want to learn more. If you’re ready to take the next step, then set up a free consultation with me today to learn more about how to deal with emotions in a healthy way.