A Friendly Reminder to Lean In
Lately, the phrase 'lean in' has been running through my brain. Lean in such a simple and wonderful reminder. Lean into the hugs my nearest and dearest gives me. Lean into the support of friends and family. Lean into the emotions, joy, sadness, fear. Once I started paying attention to it, I realized that leaning in is helpful to practice in life.
Being the independent soul that I am, I tend to pride myself on 'going it alone,' not needing anybody. But in all honesty, that is a lonely life--we need to lean in--reach out--share our story, and ask for help. When my husband hugs me frequently, I will remind myself to 'lean in' and take the hug for all its worth. Or when I am having a stressful day, and my first inclination is to forge ahead, dig deeper and become a virtual stress machine, I will remind myself to 'lean in' to what my body is telling me. When I lean in, life gets better. My relationships get stronger, my peace of mind is greater, I am happier. It isn't my first response, it isn't the easiest response, but it is a helpful response.
Leaning in is the opposite of running from. Duh, you might say, but most of us spend a lot of time running from our emotions, the unhappy parts of our lives, our fears, our shame, etc. When we can stop the run, lean in, and face what we are running, we can move forward in a more authentic, less anxious way. Leaning in is not an intuitive action (at least not for me). It is something I have to remind myself to do.
Sometimes, after my nearest and dearest and I have a fight, and we have gone to bed, I lie there feeling raw and exposed. My instinct is to shut down and close off, and then I hear my wise self quietly whisper, "lean in." I roll over and hug him, and I feel us both relax. I remind myself we are a team and I am safe, and everything is ok. Lean in, take a breath, feel the feelings, and then take action.
Leaning in requires vulnerability. It requires us to do the opposite of what is comfortable. So it is best to lean in the 'safe people' in our lives to share the struggles and the joys. Yes, we even have to be reminded to lean into the joys of our life. Too often, we are so afraid that if we celebrate too much, the joy will vanish, or by celebrating, we aren't modest enough, and we will suffer some consequence.
If you think of walking down the street on a windy day, the easiest way to maneuver is to lean into the wind. Standing straight and tall, being rigid and stoic will make it that much more challenging to walk. If you can link arms with someone as you walk through the wind, it gets even easier. When we lean in, we naturally relax, and we can shift and move as needed. The wind is still there, but rather than fighting against it, we are moving with it.
Where in your life could you use a little 'lean in'?