Feelings as Sensations
A few years ago, at a psychology conference, I heard one of my favorite teachers, Tara Brach give a keynote. She wrote the book entitled Radical Acceptance, one of my favorite books of all time that first started me on my journey to find self-compassion.
I arrived early on the day of the presentation and got a seat as close as possible to the front of the vast auditorium. Tara walked out on stage and told us a story about Jacob, a 70-year-old psychologist with Alzheimer's. He had come to a meditation retreat with his wife to teach about Buddhism. Jacob knew his mind was failing but was excited to share his teachings. After he was introduced, he walked to the front of the room, and suddenly Jacob had no idea why he was there or what he was supposed to do. His mind went blank as he stood before the audience. He couldn't remember what he had come there to say. As his heart began to pound, Jacob started to panic. He placed his palms together at his heart and started naming everything he felt, “afraid, embarrassed, confused, failing, powerless, shaking, sinking, and lost.” As his body began to relax and his mind grew calmer, he shared, “my mind is calming, and I can feel my body again.” Afterward, students came up to him sharing how he taught them in a powerful way what being present to yourself means.
As I sat in the audience, hearing Jacob's story, tears filled my eyes. I couldn't imagine having that much presence and not fleeing the stage in fear. Being present with my experience without judgment was challenging for me at that time.
I have told that story at least 20 times since hearing it; in presentations, at parties, and with friends. I LOVE it because it beautifully shows the power of naming our feelings.
As I have shared, we tend to be vague about our feelings and use general terms such as tired, overwhelmed, or stressed. This is why I encourage you to pull out the feelings sheet to name your feelings accurately.
It isn't always possible to pull out the feelings sheet, and at this point in Self Loyalty School, you might find you don't need it as much. Jacob's story teaches us that we can get to our feelings by acknowledging our sensations. We have the option of naming what we are feeling through the sensations—yes, being specific matters no matter HOW you get there, whether you get there by pulling out the feelings sheet or by being present with your sensations. I will often notice my stomach is upset or my neck is tight, which inspires me to pay attention to what I am feeling.
Try to focus on being present with how you are feeling over the next two days. Challenge yourself to pause and slowly name what you are experiencing in your body, both the physical sensations and the feelings.