Expanding the Definition of Self Care
Welcome to Day 3, Week 2 of the Body Theme—self-care is a concept I have touched on several times in Spiral 1 and Spiral 2. I share the concept of self-care as a way to get into your body and take care of yourself when you are stressed and overwhelmed. In Spiral 3, we are revisiting self-care one more time because I believe we need to expand the definition of self-care beyond just mindfulness hacks and getting into our bodies. Self-care is often thought of as a necessary evil to improve productivity or prevent burnout. In other words, it is linked to a practical outcome.
What if self-care was about doing something just because we enjoy it, honoring our passions and interests that have nothing to do with being productive? Because the more we can explore our passions and interests, the more self-loyalty we build, and the more tools in our repertoire to quiet our anxiety.
Doing something just because I enjoy it has always been hard for me. One of my rules was how I spend my time HAS to have a practical reason. I can’t just ‘waste’ time doing a passion project because it brings me joy. It has to make money, do something for someone else or somehow contribute to the greater good. Painting a picture just to paint—is silly.
Over the past few years, I have tried to put some wiggle room in this rule by making baby step changes.
My husband and I were on vacation a few years ago, and the resort offered random classes. Looking through the booklet, I said to my husband, “ They offer a sip wine and learn to paint class. We should totally do that!” “I would love to.” My husband replied, always up for an art-focused activity. But I thought you hated painting” Well, I don’t know, I said. I was told in 8th-grade art that I wasn’t good at it, so I never tried again. But we are on vacation, and I want to try it.”
The day of our class was a beautiful crisp fall day, and we met the art teacher, Becky, at a shelter house right next to a pond on the resort property. Amazingly, My Biggest Fan showed up first and was loud and proud, “Just soak it up and enjoy. No need to worry about productivity. You are on vacation. Enjoy”. My husband and I were the only two painters there, and Becky had set up our easels, paints, and brushes. She also had a bottle of wine, two fancy wine glasses, and a couple of lush blankets for us to wrap ourselves in to keep out the chill. Becky did a quick demonstration of the painting we were going to paint and some brush techniques that might be helpful. I took it all in the pond, the wine, the lush blankets, and Becky repeatedly saying, “just paint, enjoy it, we can fix almost anything, and the final product doesn’t matter.” My finished product looked nothing like the painting Becky had created. I loved mixing and matching the paints. My painting turned into a landscape more so than the painting of the farm that Becky had done. I am looking at the painting as I record this lesson, and it brings me joy because it represents freedom. Creativity for no purpose other than it brings me joy. Now I admit I haven’t painted since then, but I have tried other types of creativity drawing, needlepoint, coloring, and of course, writing.
Writing is something that I truly stumbled upon as self-care. It has taken me many years to embrace writing because it brings me joy rather than because it serves a productive purpose. It wasn’t until 2021 that I started embracing my love of writing, even though I had published three books and countless blog posts. Writing was a part of my work—it wasn’t something I did for the joy of it. But in 2021, something shifted. I invested in a coach who helped me get better at storytelling. Partly because I believed storytelling is an excellent way to market my business, but mostly because I wanted to become a better storyteller and writer for myself. For myself, not for my business, not for my husband, clients, or parents, but for myself. Doing something just because it feels good is another layer of self-care. When I am writing for work and rushing to hit a deadline or just get it done, I remind myself—you love writing—lean into it—take the productivity out of it and just enjoy it. And I always feel better.
My passions and interests tend to fall more in the creative realm, but maybe your passion is horses, gaming, cooking, sports, or being outside.
So today, ask yourself, where can you add some just because self-care into your schedule?