Perfection and our Bodies
Welcome back to week 2 of body.
Last week we talked about why our bodies are so important in treating anxiety and how to overcome our resistance to slowing down. This week we will be continuing to talk about our resistance to slowing down and we'll talk about how anxiety shows up in our bodies.
As I am dancing in the living room, I get out of breath, and my Monger chimes in, “wow, you are so out of shape.”
As I stretch up to the sky, my back tweaks a bit, and My Monger says, “well, if you move more, that wouldn’t be a problem.”
I practice the five-sense meditation, and as I look out my window into the backyard, my Monger says, “so many weeds—do you ever do yard work?!”
I slow down and get into my body, and my default response is for my Monger to offer her judgment.
One of the reasons we struggle to slow down is that slowing down requires being aware of our bodies, which comes with many Monger messages—-messages of imperfection and doing it wrong.
My body has always been a trigger for my Monger. Even when I was at my fittest and healthiest, my Monger chimed in with “you only worked out 5 days this week not 7 or you could be faster if you pushed harder.” My body will never be good enough.
I'm not sharing what my Monger says to me to then talk to you about weight loss, healthy eating, or moving more. Instead, I want you to understand the importance of noticing and appreciating your body as it is right now.This isn’t about weight loss, healthy eating, or moving more—this is about noticing and appreciating our bodies as they are right now.
Because we spend much of our lives treating our bodies like machines, we do not have a kind, loyal response to our bodies. We use it to do the things we want to do, but if our bodies are tired or hurting at an inconvenient time, we do not listen to it; instead, we force it into submission.
Going from viewing our bodies as vehicles to get us from point A and point B to viewing our bodies with kindness and compassion is a definite baby step process, but one of the ways I do that is by owning the challenge.
As I am dancing in the living room, I get out of breath, and my Monger steps in to say, “Wow, you are so out of shape.” And I respond with yep, I am frustrated by that too, and yep my body is breathing heavy, but I sure love this song and dancing. One way to stop the Monger in her track is to own the truth of what she says and take out the shame. Yep, I am out of shape, and I do love dancing.
My Monger knows when I am trying to be overly positive. I have to believe what I am saying, and if I don’t believe I have an amazing body, then I need to start with what I believe, however small.
As I stretch up to the sky, my back tweaks a bit, and my Monger says,” Well if you move more, that wouldn’t be a problem.” My Biggest Fan says Yep, sweet pea, my back is tight, but that is the power of stretching..
Or, Ugh, it is so hard to enjoy getting into my body! I wish my body was perfect; it is not, but it is my body, and even if this process takes forever, I will always appreciate it.
I slow down and get into my body, and my default response is for my Monger to offer her judgment about how I am too overweight, and out of shape and will never get back to my 20s weight. My Biggest Fan steps in to say yep, I might be overweight and out of shape, but I am so thankful for my strong legs that have helped me walk for miles and my arms which allow me to hug my loved ones and help them feel safe and protected. My body isn’t where I want it to be, and it is pretty amazing.
My biggest fan states what I believe to be true. One trick is to use AND. I know I could be skinnier, and I love how I look in this dress. I wish I didn’t get winded dancing; this song is amazing, and I still love dancing.
This process isn’t about having a perfect body or moving perfectly. It is about building loyalty with our bodies—moving our perception of it from a machine that needs to be tweaked and improved to the vessel we are in for this life. Our bodies allow us to move, breathe, hug, and dance without thinking about it. How amazing is that?!?! Having an appreciation for our bodies in all their imperfection is critical.
Today notice your body as you move through your day, as you get out of the car, walk down the stairs, hug your loved ones, and if your Monger pops in loving, remind her that your body is amazing just as it is.
Remember, if you have ANY questions about the content—send me an email at questions@selfloyaltyschool.com or head over to the website, sign in to the student portal and fill out the Q&A form. Ask Nancy Jane, and I will answer them in the next Q&A session. Q&A sessions will be recorded and appear on your podcast feed and in the member area on the last Tuesday of every month.
See you tomorrow!