Insomnia and the 4 am Visitor
Welcome to Day 3 of the Body theme.
As we move through the body theme, we are looking at two concepts:
1. building a compassionate relationship with our bodies and
2. recognizing when anxiety is showing up in our bodies.
Today we are talking about insomnia—which is one of the most common ways that anxiety shows up in our bodies.
At some point in our lives, everyone will deal with insomnia in one way or another. Some of the most common insomnia symptoms include:
Difficulty falling asleep
Trouble staying asleep
Waking up too early
Feeling constantly tired
Not sleeping can worsen your anxiety, and having high anxiety can worsen your sleeping habits. Thus continues the vicious cycle.
Today I wanted to talk about the 4:00 am visitors. So let me set the scene for what I mean when I say the 4:00 am visitor, which sounds much more fun than the actual 4:00 am visitor I'm speaking of.
I roll over, look at the clock, and think, Oh good, it's 4:00 am. I have more time to sleep. Isn't that the best feeling in the world?!?
But then I realize I have to go to the bathroom, a risky proposition because sleep is a valuable commodity these days.
And I know that if I go to the bathroom, I run the potential of running into my 4:00 am visitor, I stumble to the bathroom. Careful not to think about anything, run into anything, or wake up more than necessary. And as I lay back down, thinking I have successfully dodged the 4 am visitor. She appeared. She is also known as the What were you thinking Monger?!? "My monger appeared because as I got back into bed, I thought of the speaking event that I have in the morning." And so my Monger starts in, "Are you prepared enough!?! Did you design the worksheet? Do you know where you are going?!? This is your first in-person gig in a while—what if you stumble too much? What if you don't really know the subject matter? My Monger begs for attention. As I lay there, swimming in thought, my breath quickens, my skin gets clammy, and my chest tightens.
I was ready to give up and head downstairs to turn on the TV at 4:00 am. When I thought, Ok, practice A.S.K. I realized that the things that I practice in my day-to-day routine I could also do in the middle of the night when I started to worry. Except for this time, I had to learn how to quiet those negative thoughts down faster to get back to sleep. Rather than turning on the TV, this strategy helps me shift my focus onto something other than the Monger in my head, reminding me of how terrible I am.
So I acknowledged what I was feeling (nope, I didn't get the feelings sheet, I just lay and bed and tried to name the feelings that came to me), uneasy, worried, annoyed, and apprehensive.
Slow Down and get into your body. I clenched and unclenched each muscle moving from my toes to my head. Clench-release clench-release. And each time my Monger stepped in to have her running commentary, I thought, "nope, not listening, getting back into my body."
And then K Kindly pull Back and see the big picture, and I said to myself, "Ok, sweetpea, you have done hundreds of speaking events, you KNOW this subject matter, you KNOW how to present it" The best thing for you to do right now? Get some rest, so you are sharp and ready for the day.
Once I practice ASK in bed, I can move on to the 2nd part of my practice - using one of my go-to immersive thoughts. These are short practices that allow you to totally immerse yourself in a memory.
Here are 3 of my go-tos
Listing the states I will envision a map of the 50 states, and in my head, I will 'fly' from each state across the map.
Walking through my high school—I will walk around my high school in and out of rooms, finding my first-year locker or my favorite class.
Walking around my college campus challenging myself to remember where I had classes, where I lived etc.
There are 3 keys concepts to these immersive thought practices—picking one that resonates with you, for example, you don't want to be walking through your high school if you have some anxiety-provoking memories from high school) immersing yourself in it (visualize yourself walking through the halls, whose room do you come to first, walk around the room, is there a smell you remember or a sound you remember, if is a classroom–picture the teacher, what did they teach? Where did you sit? Continue that as your move through the school) repetition (pick 1 or 2 go-to immersive thought practices–and repeat them each time).
The repetition is key because, over time, it cues your brain. Oh, we are relaxing now—this means we relax and fall asleep.
Naming the 50 states and walking through my high school are my go-tos. Since I have been practicing these immersive thought practices, I rarely make it through 20 of the states before I fall asleep.Or if I pick walking through my high school I rarely make it past the first hallway of my high school before I fall asleep.
Here are some other ideas;
A fun vacation.
A day that made you happy
Think about your favorite movie
That night, as I lay in bed, I imagined myself walking through my first year of college, and eventually, I fell asleep. When I woke up at my usual time, I was thrilled that I had successfully turned off my 4:00 am visitor. I wasn't up watching reruns of Three's Company or watching the news at 4:00 am. I was asleep where I should be in my bed.
The next time your Monger 4am comes to visit
Practice A.S.K. And Immerse yourself in a thought practice.
Remember, if you have ANY questions about the content—send me an email at questions@selfloyaltyschool.com or head over to the website, sign in to the student portal and fill out the Q&A form. Ask Nancy Jane, and I will answer them in the next Q&A session. Q&A sessions will be recorded and appear on your podcast feed and in the member area on the last Tuesday of every month.
See you tomorrow!