Episode 016: Tips to Live Happier During Thanksgiving
As I prepare to pause from the rush I wanted to offer some tips on Living Happier During Thanksgiving
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In the United States, we officially kick off the holiday season with Thanksgiving. I love the idea of having thanks, being grateful, and gathering with friends and family to eat a big delicious meal. This holiday was founded on the idea of taking time out, pausing the rush of life to reflect and be thankful.
So as I prepare to pause from the rush, I wanted to offer my tips on living happier during Thanksgiving.
The first one is to make a plan, not just arrival times and what to bring, but a plan on what to do when it's getting too stressful. Such as a key phrase or gesture you can say to your spouse or friend when you're done D O N E done. Or a reminder to yourself that it's okay to leave, take a walk, head to the basement, spend a little extra time in the bathroom. Just because you have always done something a certain way that doesn't mean you have to do it that way. This year make a plan and have some creativity around it.
Think back to where the holidays took a wrong turn in years past, and try to figure out ways to do it differently this year. With a little honesty and creativity, everyone can have a great holiday season. We need to be able to sit down with the intention to help each member of our family show up, be seen, and have a wonderful holiday.
My second tip is to have compassion. If you do nothing else this holiday season, have compassion for yourself and those around you. Families put the buttons there in the first place, so they certainly know how to push them. Give yourself a break.
One of my favorite mantras is: "They're doing the best they can with what they have." It is a phrase I repeat a lot around the holidays. It's a loving reminder to myself as well. A reminder that I'm doing the best I can with what I have and that it may not be perfect may not be as great as I think I could be doing, but it is the best I can given all that's happening.
Remind yourself that sometimes you have to dig deep for gratitude. For some people, my clients, and my friends, even myself, gratitude this time of year can be a challenge from time to time. Sometimes we have to dig deep to find the gratitude in our lives. Perhaps in the past year, you've lost a loved one, a job, or maybe you're going through a divorce.
Sometimes life deals us a bad hand, and sometimes we're frustrated, discouraged, and just downright exhausted. When we're feeling lost and frustrated, the simple reminder to be grateful and count your blessings can get old. No matter how much we know, we should count our blessings. Sometimes it is just plain hard.
If you or someone you know comes to this Thanksgiving holiday not feeling quite thankful as last year. That's okay. Maybe all you can muster for your gratitude this year is that you're alive or that you have a place to go for the holiday. That's okay. In my opinion, the point of this holiday isn't to make us feel bad because we don't feel as jolly as we should. It is to remind us to pause our lives. So give yourself a break if you have to dig a little deeper this year to find the gratitude.
My next reminder, pay attention to the little things throughout the day. Pause, breathe and notice the little things. Thanksgiving reminds us to take stock of all the little things that make up our lives.
The small everyday blessings including:
*a warm bed,
*the smell of coffee in the morning,
*listening to your favorite song,
*wearing your most comfy sweater.
So throughout the day, pay attention to the little things that are making up your day:
*Your child's laughter,
*your husband's smile,
*your father's hug
*the taste of the mashed potatoes.
I find it helpful to set the alarm on my phone, and each time I hear the chime, pause, breathe and notice. Anytime you can slow down and notice what is happening around you, it will help you live happier during the Thanksgiving holiday. So those are my tips for living happier.
During the holidays, make a plan, have some compassion, remind yourself it's okay if you have to dig a little deeper for gratitude, and pay attention to the little things. This Thanksgiving, take a chance to breathe in the natural pause. The time to gather with friends and family and reflect on what the past year has brought, both the joys and the sorrows.
+ Weekly Ritual Challenge
One thing that has really helped me reduce anxiety is adding regular ritual practices to my daily life, so each week, I am going to be sharing a ritual with you and challenge you to complete it.
This week's ritual: Be Fully Present in the Stolen Moments
Little dead spaces during your day can be used for mindfulness. Be mindful of exactly what is taking place right now, even if it is tedious drudgery. Take advantage of moments when you are alone. Take advantage of activities that are largely mechanical. Use every spare second to be mindful. Use all the moments you can.