Happiness According to Mad Men
The other night we watched Mad Men--(yes, I know I am a little late to this party, we finally got on board). For those of you who are late to the party, like me, Mad Men is a TV show about an advertising agency which takes place in the 50s. In the first episode of the first season, one of the ad execs gave a definition of happiness that made me sit up and scream "yes!!"
".....And do you know what happiness is? Happiness is the smell of a new car. It's freedom from fear. It's a billboard on the side of a road that screams with reassurance that whatever you're doing is OK. You are OK. "
So granted, this quote pertains to advertising, and the back story involves an ad campaign for Lucky Strike cigarettes. Still, I have been thinking and thinking about this quote tossing it around, seeing if it fits the general definition of happiness, and I believe it does.
When I think of the times that I have been the happiest, my wedding day, being on vacation, or working with a client. During those times, I was feeling confident, secure, positive. I was getting confident, secure, positive feedback around me. I knew what I was doing was OK. I knew I was where I needed to be, making choices I needed to make and feeling the support of my gut and the people around me.
Similarly, I think about days when I am feeling happy vs. days I am not and the simple tasks that might make me happy one day the next day I resent. Walking my dog, Mocha, is a great example. Frequently there are times that I walk her, and I just feel giddy. She is excited and joyful, the day is beautiful, we are out of the house getting fresh air, and I am fully present and happy. Then there are days like yesterday when I head out to walk the dog because I haven't done so in 3 days. I am bitter and feeling bad that I haven't walked her, we are running late, and my to-do list is a mile long. So I spend the walk feeling insecure, unconfident, and ineffective, Not present, not joyful.
I see it frequently with clients who leave my office all excited that they have figured out what comes next in their career, their gut is telling them it is a good idea, the research they have done is telling them it is a good idea, and their support system is telling them it is a good idea. They are OK, they are happy. Then they leave my office, head out into the world to network, job search, apply to grad school, and they get rejected, disappointed, or hurt, and they aren't feeling reassured anymore they aren't OK. They aren't happy. But it isn't because they have picked the wrong career or that their heart can't sing. It is the ebbs and flows of happiness.
Happiness comes and goes. There are days when I am happier, more confident, more self-assured than others. There are days when all pistons are firing, conversations with clients are dead-on, writing is fluid, and I adore my job. Then there are days when I can't come up with an idea to save my life, client meetings are stilted and cloudy, and I question my value as a career counselor.
We will have days when we aren't clicking when the world outside and inside makes us question our choices. The trick comes in recognizing those days are all part of the journey. Happiness will come, we will feel OK again. The power in change keeps moving, keeping carrying on even when we have an off day, even when we aren't 'feeling it.' Knowing that it is a temporary glitch in our long-term plan. When we can recognize that the self-doubt and feeling 'not OK' are all part of the process of life, we can slow down and let those days pass without taking them on as 'the truth.' Then when the happy days come we can celebrate them with gusto!!