September 2022
Listen to hear:
<eyeroll>Do I have to practice A.S.K? <eyeroll>
Welcome to the Seventh Episode of Ask Nancy Jane.
These episodes are designed to answer the questions you've submitted either via email or on the Ask Nancy Jane page in the portal, so you can get extra help in Self Loyalty School you can listen to these episodes any time.
They're meant to be a place to get that extra support or insight, if you need it.
All these episodes are released on the last Tuesday of every month, and I'm going to try to make it no more than 10 to 15 minutes, so as a reminder, if you have questions, you can submit them to questions @selfloyaltyschool. com or head over to the Ask Nancy Jane page in the student portal, and I will answer the questions next month in the Ask Nancy Jane episode, this month, no one submitted a question, so I'm going to answer something that a lot of my individual one-on-one clients ask me, but first I wanted to remind you
As I just did, but I'm going to do it again. That I'm here to answer any questions you have, regardless of how silly you might think they are, anything about self loyalty, high-functioning anxiety, the character's feelings, getting into your body, etc . I am here to help. So please reach out. So as I said, I'm going to answer a question. My clients ask me a lot when it comes to implementing, so as I said, I'm going to answer a question that my clients ask me a lot, I don't really ask me the question as much as they say something like this...
Okay, do
I have to practice A.S.K or... Yes, yes, yes. I know I should practice A.S.K, but I just don't have the energy or I just can't do it. Or something along those lines, there's a resistance to practicing A.S.K,... I cover this.
I tried to cover this a lot in the Self Loyalty School content, and I try to give a lot of examples of how A.S.K can show up, and what I have found through writing Self Loyalty School and recording it and all the stuff is that A.S.K really does work. It really does work and I'm saying that not out of... I made it up, so it really does work, but I'm saying it as, you have to do something like A.S.K , in order to tap into the quiet voice of the biggest fan in order to get to self-loyalty, you have to acknowledge your experience, acknowledge your feelings. You have to get into your body and you have to be able to see a bigger picture. So it is necessary to practice some form of A.S.K... I really, obviously like A.S.K, I think it is a good methodology of getting into that framework of getting into that mindset of, Okay, I need to change my mindset, I need to change my state from what I am, which is an anxious state, I'm headed down the rabbit hole, I need to...
Or I'm in the rabbit hole, I need to change how I'm feeling right now and not change it, I feel like I need to change my anxiety, I need to get out of the state to get into a different state, which isn't so anxious, and so that idea of, I'm going to practice A.S.K to do that, and there will be resistance to practicing A.S.K ... I have developed the concept of A.S.K and the acronym, and I have tons of resistance to practicing A.S.K so
Even in the lessons, I had a person who was helping me edit all of the lessons for Self Loyalty School, and she would come in frequently after I sent her something ed it, and she'd come back in and say, You have to... You have to talk about A.S.K, you have to give some details about A.S.K, and she did this at the very beginning all the time, and I was like, No, no. In my mind, I was like, I don't want to talk about A.S.K all the time because I know how much resistance there is to it, and so I don't... I don't want to be throwing something down that people are going to resist. And this woman, her name is Hillary. Hillary said to me, Yeah, but you have to tell them what they need to do to help. And A.S.K is what it is, it doesn't matter. That there's resistance. A.S.K is the solution. And so that's why I wanted to come in and talk about this. To come in and talk about this in a specific way, because it is a push back that I get a lot for my individual clients, it's something I kind of like I have that I can sense it in them and I do it myself when I think, Oh, I should practice asking, there's kind of like this eye roll that happens and just like, Oh, I don't want to have to do this, because I don't want to slow down, I don't want to acknowledge my feelings, I don't want to do any of that stuff, I just don't want to feel anxious anymore, and have that be a magical poof...
I don't feel anxious anymore, and that isn't how it works. So a lot of times what I will say to clients, if they have a lot of resistance here... This is the theory in a nutshell.
You have to be able to recognize when you're headed down the rabbit hole, you have to be able to notice when your anxiety is high, and when you can notice that your anxiety is high, then the next step is you have to be able to do something once you notice that, and that can be anything from A.S.K to just getting into your body, to changing your physical state and moving around, to just pulling back and seeing the big picture. Any of those things. There has to be something that happens, as I said in the beginning. It doesn't have to be A.S.K, but it has to be something where you're acknowledging your feelings, you're slowing down and getting into your body and you are being able to pull back and see the big picture, those things have to happen in order to change your state, the problem is, we have resistance against doing those things, it's not about A.S.K specifically, it's not about... I hate meditation because I don't want to get into my body, it's not about that, it's not about that we don't want to do it, it's not about that we don't like it, or it's not about the thing...
What it's about is doing A.S.K helps, and so it isn't changing the thing that helps, it's changing our attitude towards that thing, and so that means getting it to be a little less rigid, the idea is... So what happens is, we'll say, it's A.S.K., I need to practice A.S.K... at the end of every Self Loyalty School lesson, Nancy gave an example of A.S.K and that's what I need to do, and so we'll get rigid about it. And that isn't helpful either. Sometimes we can't practice asking them, we're with people, we're in public, I've showcase those examples a little bit in Self Loyalty School, where we can't practice A.S.K specifically, but
We can do the things that A.S.K is telling us to do. We can acknowledge what's happening in our state and what we're feeling, where we're sensing in our bodies, we can slow down and get into our bodies and we can pull back to see a bigger picture, we can do all of those things. In a couple of minutes, it's just giving ourselves permission to do them and... That's the real sticking point. It's the permission to do it. And what I have discovered over time on my own journey with this stuff is that it isn't about one day this will be more comfortable to do, or I need to find the right form of A.S.K and then I will enjoy doing it. No, it's not a natural thing for me to practice. A.S.K, it's not natural for me. So it's not something that's going to be my first response, it's more so my first response now than it used to be, but the only reason it has become more so my first response is because I bite the bullet and I do it... That's it. As much as I hate to say that, it's just that I tell myself, I know practicing A.S.K helps, and then I don't want to do it.
I have a lot of resistance, I do it anyway, and then I can... Or I do it the next day, I've talked about that in lessons, I do it anyway, and I recognize, Oh, I do feel better, and I start noticing if I practice A.S.K, I do feel better. I get out of that anxiety rabbit hole, it does really work, and so by doing that more and more and more, when it comes around for me to do A.S.K, I still have the resistance, it still comes in, but now I can say to myself, Oh, this does help, I ha ve proof, I feel it in my body. I know this helps. So therefore, I'm going to keep doing it. So
That is my thoughts on practicing A.S.K
In a nutshell, it's never going to be fun. We're always going to have resistance to it, that isn't the point, the point is that we have to do it any way and to make it as least painful, as least rigid, as most fun as we can do it is the key, and not getting stuck in the idea that A.S.K is the only way for me to feel better. That isn't true. It is getting into your body, acknowledging what you're experiencing and pulling back to see a bigger picture, those things are the key, whether you do that through A.S.K or some other version of that, I don't care, it doesn't matter to me, I just know you have to practice some form of that
When we are headed down the anxiety rabbit hole... Okay.
That's it. That's my answer to the question. Please, if you have any questions, please submit them, and I'll answer them in October at the end of the month. And we'll do that. I hope you have a wonderful month. If you have any questions, remember questions@selfloyaltyschool.com, and I'll answer them in the next Q and A. Okay, take