October 2022
Listen to hear:
Technical question—I want to listen to binge the lessons, but they keep playing backward instead of forwards.
I am very early in Self Loyalty School, and I am curious how self-loyalty applies to the voice in my head. Is the idea that by raising my self-loyalty, I won’t hear from my Monger and BFF anymore because my Biggest Fan will grow louder?
Welcome to the eighth episode of Ask Nancy Jane. These episodes are designed to answer the questions you've submitted via email or on the Ask Nancy Jane page in the portal to get extra help in self-loyalty school. You can listen to these episodes anytime.
They're meant to be a place to get that extra support or insight if needed. All these episodes are released on the last Tuesday of every month, and I will try to make it no more than 10 to 15 minutes.
So as a reminder, if you have questions, you can submit them to questions at self-loyalty school.com or head over to the Ask Nancy Jane page in the student portal. And I will answer those questions next month in the Ask Nancy Jane episode.
This month, I have two questions. The first question is a technical question. I want to binge-listen to the lessons, but they keep playing backward instead of forwards. Ah, OK. The first thing I want to say is yes, totally understandable. You want to binge the lessons. That is truly another act of self-loyalty, recognizing, you know what, it works easier for me to binge the lessons than to listen to them one at a time.
But hard to do when your player isn't playing them forwards. It's playing them, you know, each episode is starting backward. So I will answer this question if you're listening on Apple podcasts because that's where most people listen. And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, you will want to open your Apple podcasts and the Self-Loyalty School podcast. And then, at the top right corner, there will be three dots, and you'll click on those three dots and go into settings. In settings, you can set how you want the episode order to go. Forward to backward or backward to forward.
Close that out. Now you can binge-listen to all the episodes you want to, and they will keep playing forward and forward in infinitum, and you can binge forever. As long as there are episodes, I guess.
So that was the technical question. The next question is about the content. And so this person says, I'm very early in Self-Loyalty School, and I'm curious how Self-Loyalty applies to the voice in my head is the idea that by raising my Self-Loyalty, I won't hear from my Monger and BFF anymore because my Biggest Fan will go louder. Well, this is a complicated question. It's not this cut and dry. I do want to say that.
So the idea is that by raising your Self-Loyalty, multiple things will happen, but the main thing that we're looking at that is going to happen is you're also going to be raising your confidence. You're going to be raising your attunement to yourself and others. You will raise your ability to notice what's happening and be more curious about yourself. Also, by raising your Self-Loyalty, you probably will hear from your Biggest Fan more, and you will also hear from your Monger and your BFF. Raising your Self-Loyalty does not do away with the Monger and the BFF voice. Trust me. I wish that were true, but it's not.
But the power of Self-Loyalty. You won't get rid of your Monger and BFF voice. Those voices are hardwired in there. They are coping skills that we have learned. They are hard to let go of. And so I think over time, those voices get less potent because they lose their power because we aren't giving them as much power. We're not listening to them as much. So when we hear those voices, and by raising our Self-Loyalty, we will hear those voices faster when we hear those voices, than merely the act of bringing in the Biggest Fan pushes them down, and they will grow quieter. But there will be times when our Monger and BFF are running the show for a long time before you catch them. That's OK. You're going to catch them. You're going to practice A.S.K. You're going to bring in the Biggest Fan. I know you said you're very early in Self-Loyalty school. As you keep moving through Self-Loyalty school, the answer to this question will become clearer and clearer and clearer and clearer. But for right now, I want to tell you the power of raising your Self-Loyalty is it will infiltrate all areas of your life because it will decrease your anxiety because you will be more aware of what's happening, and you won't be stuck on autopilot as often.
And when we are stuck on autopilot, it usually means we have headed down what I call, and you may not have got to it yet, an anxiety rabbit hole. And these anxiety rabbit holes are where we hang out in our anxiety. And this is where the Monger and the BFF are running the show. So the power of Self-Loyalty is we can catch ourselves down that Monger rabbit hole quicker. And more importantly than even catching it quicker, when we catch ourselves in a rabbit hole, we know what to do now. We know how to practice A.S.K. We know how to bring them the Biggest Fan. And we know that that helps in pulling us out of our anxiety. We also know that when we're down there and practicing Self-Loyalty, we will want to do the things that will pull us out. We will want to be mindful to get into our bodies, acknowledge what we're feeling, and do all the things that we know help our anxiety, but we don't want to do those things when our Monger and our BFF are talking.
So this is the power of raising your Self-Loyalty is that now you can recognize that your Monger and your BFF are talking, so they don't take over the show, and you can know how to deal with that. You know how to bring in your Biggest Fan, and you know how to practice A.S.K. and do the things that help you pull yourself out of the rabbit hole. But the other thing I want to say is the power of Self-Loyalty is that it takes the focus, which is where most of us have spent all our lives. It takes the focus from looking outside of ourselves to what do I need to do next.
We have all attuned ourselves to the outside world. And by attuning ourselves to the outside world, we have lost our insides. We have lost a relationship with ourselves. And so that's the power of Self-Loyalty school; you are learning how to build a relationship with yourself again. And by building a relationship with yourself, then you become more curious about what's happening. You become more empowered and more confident. And so if you find yourself down an anxiety rabbit hole and you recognize your Monger and your BFF are talking, that may be enough.
You may not have the energy that day or the time to pull yourself out, but merely by recognizing, wait a minute, my Monger and my BFF are talking right now. They're running the show. That is helpful. That helps us. That's the power of Self-Loyalty: sometimes it's recognizing, wait a minute. I know where I am, and I know this isn't helpful where I am, but I'm going to choose to stay here temporarily until I have the energy to pull myself out. So that's also the power of Self-Loyalty. It gives you options. It gives you there isn't one right way to do Self-Loyalty school. There isn't one right way to treat your anxiety. There isn't one right. There isn't one right way. Say that three times fast, one right way to quiet your Monger. And so it is this power of Self-Loyalty is an exploration of what works for you in doing those things. And as you move through the spirals, you will get those answers, learn more about yourself and figure out, ah, this is what makes me tick. And these are the things that are helpful to me in quieting my anxiety.
It isn't that you won't hear from your Monger and your BFF anymore. You might hear from them less. They might be quieter. You might hear from your Biggest Fan more, but the potent power is that at the end of Self-Loyalty School, you will recognize when your Monger and your BFF are talking, and you will be able to know what to do to bring in your Biggest Fan. And that's the power of Self-Loyalty. OK. That's it.
I hope you have a wonderful month. If you have any questions, email me at Questions at SelfLoyaltySchool.com or head over to the portal and fill out the Ask NancyJane Q&A form, and I will see you next month. Take care.