Messages We Heard Growing Up About Bodies.

Welcome to week 2 of the theme of Body in Spiral 2. Last week we explored the beliefs that keep us out of our bodies and tips on rebuilding a relationship with our bodies.

This week we will dive into four common messages society tells us about getting into our bodies. 

They are 

No pain, no gain

Your body is a machine

 You can control your body if you only try hard enough

I don't have time I need to be productive

These four messages create an adversarial relationship with our bodies. They encourage us not to support our bodies but to go to war with them. Criticizing them for being too fat, too skinny, too tired, too sore, and too limited. Ask someone how they feel about their body, and you will get a litany of answers about what they want to change. 

This isn't just an HFA problem—this is a western culture problem and we won’t solve it in this course.

We are spending so much time on loyalty to our bodies because anxiety is expressed through our bodies. So the more honor and loyalty we have for our bodies, the easier it is to notice our anxiety. Remember, the goal is to close the gap between when we notice our anxiety and when we take action—so having a relationship with our bodies is a key step in closing that gap. 

"The body is a sacred garment. It's your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor." – Martha Graham

This idea by Martha Graham is what I strive for every day.
I said strive because unlearning all the messages and reprogramming new ones is a hit-or-miss process. As we talked about last week, some days I can notice myself avoiding my body, and some days my Monger chats on and on, and I completely miss her Monger telling me to, "Keep pushing, no pain, no gain. Or you NEED to be productive. You don't have time." 

Knowing the triggering phrases from the Monger is important. We all have different messages that trigger us. When I can identify the messages that have a personal significance, I have a sneak peek into my Mongers triggers. 

The Monger is only picky about specific issues--these issues vary depending on the shaming messages we have heard in our lives. Knowing her triggers allows me to build awareness of her and also helps me see that she isn't all-powerful; she is only really picky about certain things. Which helps decrease her power. Over the next few days, I will share more about those messages so you can find the messages that is of personal significance to you.

A work deadline is looming, and my Monger steps in with her advice to "keep pushing, no pain, no gain." I don't consciously hear her, but her words inspire and hop me up, so I push harder and get more done. That is my High Functioning Anxiety—my Monger is causing me to feel shame, bringing out my anxiety, and I react by pushing harder. 

On a different day, when I am exhausted and the work deadline looms, My Monger says, "keep pushing, no pain, no gain," I react with anger and frustration. The Monger's words are not encouraging; they are infuriating. 

In this example, before I consciously hear the Monger's words of no pain, no gain, keep pushing, my BFF comes to protect me from my Monger. "Go ahead, take the rest of the day off—I think there was some cookies and cream ice cream in the fridge?!" and encourage me to stop working.

Later, looking back on the day after eating a pint of ice cream and pushing the deadline, I can see that my Monger and my BFF were running the show. The temptation is to beat myself up for letting them derail my day. But this is an important time to practice self-loyalty and bring in the Biggest Fan. OK, whoa, you don’t have to push so hard. Take a breather. Let’s work backward. When did the Monger take over? 

I can see that; oh, it was around 4 pm when I was exhausted and needed a break--rather than slowing down and getting into my body, I went into high gear because my Monger was saying keep pushing, no pain, no gain. 

The goal is to find the Monger’s message that has the most personal significance to you. To find those messages, you need to notice when your Monger is talking, and often your actions will tell you the Monger is talking before you hear her words. So it is important to notice her talking and work it backward to find out what triggered her to chime in. 

So I will be back tomorrow with the first message. Keep pushing; no Pain, No Gain.

See you tomorrow!