Self Care A Necessary Evil
Welcome to the first day of the body theme in Spiral 2. In spiral 1 of the body theme, I shared the importance of slowing down and our resistance to slowing down. In spiral two, we will be expanding on the theme of slowing down while talking about our resistance to our bodies in general. As I have said before, we tend to live from the head up—not valuing our body and its magnificence. We do not have self-loyalty to our bodies. Over the next two weeks, We will explore messages we receive that keep us out of our bodies and tips on how to rebuild a relationship with our bodies. Anxiety is expressed through our bodies. The goal is to close the gap between when we notice our anxiety and when we take action—so having a relationship with our bodies is a key step in closing that gap.
To kick off this idea about messages that keep us outside our bodies, I want to look at our relationship with self-care. What? You might be asking. Self care is the ultimate way to get into our bodies—yes that is what the world wants us to believe—but for those of us with HFA self care is not something we engage in it is something forced upon us. For years my definition of self-care was to push myself to my limit, and then when I had done enough to 'deserve' rest, I would give myself some self-care.
And that self-care most often consisted of lounging on the couch, watching bad TV, and playing a game on my phone. This self care was actually just me numbing out
I would push myself so hard that the act of "self-care" was forced upon me by my body telling me it could take no more.
Now my goal is to to think of Self Care as the ultimate practice of self-loyalty. In a nutshell, I work to make Self-care a way of life.
Self Care is a daily, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute practice.
Self-care means listening to myself, showing up for myself, and having loyalty to myself.
Self-care for me means
I am always covering the five basics: drinking water, getting sleep, eating healthy food, and moving my body.
Saying no when appropriate so I am not running myself ragged.
Handling conflicts directly and honestly so they don't give my anxiety more ammunition
Taking a break when I need it, not after I have finished all my tasks
living a life based on my values.
Practicing A.S.K.
Catching myself before I head too far down the rabbit hole.
The thing about self-care is no one can tell you how you should engage in self-care.
Self-care is the act of pausing and listening to YOU.
For me, self-care is not a one size fits all event. It is a practice—an act of genuinely engaging with myself and getting real.
Here are some tips to add REAL Self Care into your life.
As you start your week and layout your calendar of events, remember the How Full is Your Glass exercise from spiral 1 (will fill in what number that is) and ask yourself--do I want to be engaging in these activities? Are there any of these activities I could skip/pass/reschedule?
Look at your calendar and ask whether there is enough time for you to re-group/re-energize. How can I add more?
Brainstorm activities you enjoy, have enjoyed, or want to enjoy, and start making time to enjoy them. (even if it is only 5 minutes) I recently started adding more music and dance to my life. I forgot how much I loved dancing (I am not a great dancer, but in my mind, in my kitchen, I am an exceptional dancer!)
Where is there a conflict hanging over your head? How can you handle it in a productive/healthy way?
Remember the mindfulness hacks? From (again, fill in the number). If you haven't already added some rituals into your day--take the time to stop and check in with yourself.
Where are you putting someone else's needs first to your own detriment? How can you vocalize or prioritize your needs?
Remember this: Self-care is not a buzzword; it is a necessity.
Pick one item from that list that resonates with you and try to implement it this week.
Ok, I will see you tomorrow.