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| Thanks to Kevin Shorter |
One thing I do consistently is practice what I preach. All the tips, wisdom, insights I post on this blog I try to engage in, in my day to day life . Lately, I have been facing the Fear Monger, building awareness around my internal messages, and going for my dreams. In the spirit of my year of honesty, I am going to share a bit of honesty in my post and a bit of wisdom as well.
Last year was a big year for me, my nearest and dearest moved in, I got engaged, planned a wedding, got married, was there for my in-laws and my husband as my mother in law fought her cancer battle, and also began dealing more seriously with my father’s fight with Parkinson’s. It was A LOT of stuff–needless to say my business got moved to the back burner. Partially because of all that stuff and partially because to move to the next level I had to face some fears and deal with some demons and quite frankly I just didn’t have the energy for that. So I kept my business going status quo, saw clients, blogged here and there and while my business did fine there wasn’t any real growth.
At the start of 2012, I decided a couple of things: one I wanted my business to get bigger, I wanted to reach more people, do more writing, speaking, counseling and just generally put myself out there in a bigger way and two I wanted this to be my year of honesty. Frankly, to do number one I believe you have to do number two. So in the past 18 days I have put myself out there more, I have worked on a new bigger business plan, I have written more, posted more, face booked’ more, tweeted more, and in general each day I have just showed up and been engaged in my business more. And I have to say it has been hard, challenging exhilarating, energizing, anxiety producing, joyous, and exhausting.
But here are a few insights, lessons I am re-learning and ideas that I have had over the past few weeks:
1.You never feel more alive than when you are pushing your limits. Facing my fears, questioning myself, checking in and asking what I want to do next is nerve wracking and exhilarating. But it feels 1000 times better than living life one foot in one foot out–living in the status quo.
2. You have to have a vision. Each day I return to my overall vision for my business and my life: to help people see the possibility in their lives and to help them live genuine, authentic lives so they live and work happier. Yes, I have to do a lot of other stuff in order to do that–marketing, using social media, networking etc. But doing all the stuff that I don’t like is a lot easier when I know why.
3. There isn’t always a right way. Yep, I am a bit of a perfectionist–sometimes to the determent of my productivity and of my sanity. I get too caught up in doing it right–and usually there isn’t one right way.
4. There is a time to push and a time to rest. I admit I can be a bit too driven–pushing myself too hard and in the process missing the forest for the trees. There are times when I have found myself during ‘work hours’ forcing myself to be productive and just not feeling it. More often then not when I step a way, take a breathe and concentrate on something else I can come back feeling more productive and committed.
5. Celebrate the little things. When it comes to facing the fear monger, and chartering new territories you can get so focused on the big picture you don’t take the time to celebrate the little victories. Some days just coming up with a blog post is a HUGE day for my. Somedays I am a writing and marketing wiz–regardless I am learning to celebrate both days equally.
6. You have to walk before you can run, or more importantly you have to fall before you can walk. Mistakes happen, progress is slow but any time you are putting one foot in front of the other you are moving more towards your authentic life—and that is a win in my book.
What about you? Any lessons you have learned in facing your fears or going after your goals?
I love your honesty Nancy, there’s real value in knowing the process isn’t always linear. That we greet and re-greet the same fears, just some days are better than others.
Well, let’s see. I’m now on my almost 12th year at a firm, and I feel it’s time to leave. This was preceded by 8 months of discussing future roles, etc. – long story short, they want me to stay but I feel, and this is the worst yet most apt word, betrayed. I spend everyday now “holding the tension of the opposites” and being present to my fear, to a transition I yet can fully birth.
But it’s coming and there’s a lot I don’t know about it. A lot I’m learning about myself through it. It’s fearsome and exciting, because I can’t escape authorship of my own life. And by life, I mean everything – as your mission to help others live authentically. Where I am right now, is no longer true for me.
I find that the bile and disgust (dramatic no?) that I feel is really fear. Fear of loss, fear of the unknown, fear of being mistreated again. Thanks for your blog post, it’s good to remember that in the end I know it will sort itself out, even in the absence of a hard core 5 year plan.
It’s more important to me right now to invest in faith and allowing, so everyday is a chance for me to trust myself and life again. To look at What Is, accept it and allow myself to slip into the Flow. I really, really have no idea where I’m going next, I FEEL something and I think for now that’s enough. I DO find that when there isn’t a distance between what’s true for me and what I’m doing, action happens naturally. But I can only bridge that gap by NOT over-efforting that, being observant and aware. Which isn’t always easy – if my zipping out of the office to get away is anything to judge by.
It pays to remember that even birth is a crisis. A positive one. Here’s to our fears, feeling it and doing it anyway!
Yep, unfortunately the process is not linear–hands down one of the biggest misconceptions on growth and change–we spiral up, implementing old insights into a new time. Where you are now is hard–in the meantime of knowing you want a change (I think betrayal is one of the hardest things to move beyond) but not knowing specifically what the change is. I agree learning how to settle in that Flow is one of the hardest yet, most beneficial lessons to learn.
And again it is back to holding both–”fearsome and exciting”, “exhilarating and overwhelming”–but that is really living!!!
Thanks for the feedback–I had a lot of fear around writing this particular post because it was pretty out there for me. I fully believe if my message is living authentically then I need to do that in my writing.
Are you kidding?? I think this post is what distinguishes you, because it conveys how real that fear is for you and how you’re choosing to deal with it (yes, no, sometimes?). Holy Hades, if I had to talk to a career coach who wants me to go Linear, I’d go batty. Who needs a talking calendar?
Of course, I’m saying that because I do the same in my writing. Now it’s time for the actual day to day living to catch up. It’s refreshing to read you share what all of us are going through (everything at the same time) and how we find points of authenticity and being in that so we can continue on. The real is beautiful. No matter how heart breaking it can be at times, how the delightful is woven in with the dark.
Oh and yes, betrayal is difficult but I have taken this as a time to reset, redo, redirect. Thank you for telling me that, in my over-responsible manner I have moments of doubt thinking I should be able to just grit my teeth through everything! But deliberate suffering is neither healthy nor authentic.
I probably should just hire you if I weren’t so involved in squirreling $$$ away in case I have to run, like NOW haha.. would love to but working on it. Here’s an entry on my blog which examines similar things: http://www.femmeruthless.com/1/post/2011/08/uranusly-yours-of-age-the-hope-of-love-and-other-matters.html
I hope you love it, I draw a lot of strength from what you share. It’s my workday nugget of sanity. Keep up the amazing work!!! You’re making a difference!
Sorry, that’s a transition I yet CAN’T fully birth.. but you know what I mean.