Thoughts on Living with
A very loud Monger (inner critic)
Three books and over 12 years of blogging later, my Monger still tells me I am not a writer.
THAT is the power of my Monger, who never forgets the feedback from the English teachers of my youth. But my Biggest Fan reminds me I love writing, finding the perfect word, crafting a story to illustrate a point. This page is a collection of all my blogs on topics such as mindfulness, self-loyalty, perfectionism, etc.
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Or just dive right in:
The Many Ways to Slow Down and Get Into Your Body
Ironically, the #1 way to calm anxiety is to slow down and get into our bodies. And yet it is the last thing people with High Functioning Anxiety want to do. We suffer better than others, are superhuman, and always need to justify our pain or fatigue. These messages keep people with High Functioning Anxiety from attuning to our bodies. Society has supported and fine-tuned these beliefs, rewarding us for pushing too hard and getting a lot done.
3 Things We Get Wrong About High Functioning Anxiety
FINALLY, while standing in the kitchen cooking an early, I practiced A.S.K. and Acknowledged my Feelings, which were not just about the show but several stresses going on in my life.
Over Functioning is an Addiction
It is less about changing myself and fixing my anxiety and more about listening to it. My over-functioning is a sign that my anxiety is high. But because over-functioning is an addiction and feels so good.
High Functioning Anxiety IS NOT "Anxiety Light"
I have devoted my career to treating High Functioning Anxiety, because living with it is exhausting. Not just because the anxiety itself is exhausting but because the unhealthy coping methods we have learned to deal with it (throwing ourselves into work, being the responsible one, perfectionism, and people-pleasing) are so valued by society that we struggle in silence and shame.
When you Need to Hear More Than "Be Grateful"
When I have gathered the courage to share my story with someone, and I am met with a trite statement about being grateful and soldiering on, I want to punch something. Looking for support and not getting it is a punch to the gut and can send us down a rabbit hole of shame and anger.
Racing Thoughts At Night And How To Stop Them
After a long stressful day of overworking myself and getting all the things done that I needed, all I want to do is lay in bed and get the rest that my mind and body desperately need, but I can’t get these racing thoughts out of my mind. I try reading a book and even counting sheep, but nothing seems to work.
You Think You’re Depressed - But Maybe You Have Anxiety
You may think you’re suffering with depression because you’re burnt out on work, exhausted all the time, or feel like you’re stuck in a rut. These are all common feelings associated with depression but what you might not know is that these symptoms could actually be indicating something completely different, like high functioning anxiety (HFA).
How Trauma Can Impact Our Anxiety And Future
A majority of us have experienced some form of trauma (whether Big T or little t) in our lives, whether we realize it or not. So what does that mean for those of us who have experienced trauma and how does trauma affect a person?
The Challenge in Admitting We are Human
I have different rules for myself. Other people might have to rest, but I can carry on and do more. I can always handle more. I can push myself hard enough that I might overcome that small annoying reality about being human.
Do You Have Extreme Anxiety? Here's How You Can Handle It
General anxiety is one thing but having HFA and persistent levels of severe anxiety could be signaling a much deeper problem that needs to be addressed. Overtime, that anxiety can build up inside us and lead to exhaustion, burnout, or worse.
I Hate Last Minute Changes
We usually identify the coping skills as the problem, set better boundaries, be ok with imperfection, be less controlling. But when we take those coping skills away, we are just left with our anxiety.
Childhood and High Functioning Anxety
After years of working with clients who live with High Functioning Anxiety and cope with their anxiety by over-functioning, there are some patterns to what they learned growing up. These patterns are not set in stone or the be-all end-all. Each of us has a unique story of growing up and navigating the world.
The Ever-Present Monger
There are three rules of the Monger don’t make a mistake, don’t stand out, and don’t be too vulnerable, and I was about to break all 3. And she was FREAKING out.
The Downside to Venting
For years, venting has been something pop psychology told us is good for us. Talk about your problems, get it out, don’t let them fester. But all the empathy in the world won’t make us feel better if we aren’t empathetic to ourselves.